july

oh my we were busy in july…lots of fun with family and friends.
a family reunion at bear lake.
a lot of camping.
and lots of fun on a boat with just the 5 of us.
a trip to seattle to visit gamma and gampa.

during this trip to seattle i was talking with my sister…and i told her this:

i think i need to be around my family.  it makes me the most happy.  like, i need to be around my family to really be who i am.

i'm here, in this little home, with my family of 5, in this little city.  and it's good.  we are good.  i have plenty of good friends.  and good fun with them.  i laugh.  a lot.  but my family is my family, and i need to be with them.  they know me.  they love me.  they are my tribe.

my sister asked me:

what are you going to do?

and i replied:

oh i don't know.  what can i do.  i'll just have to visit a lot.

so to all you who are in my tribe, know that i need you.  that you are loved.

june

june was mr. m's and my anniversary month…

12 years.  i can't look at this man and think of just us on our anniversary.  i look at this man and think of the husband and father he has become.  and i love this man.

12 things i have learned…

1. communication:  it's always number 1, right?  but it's reality.  good, bad, ugly.  it needs to be said.  mr. m is not a mind reader, and i'm not either.   but you've got to say when you're happy, when you're mad, when you're sad, and when you agree, or when you don't.  say what you need to say.

2.  romance:  just because you're married doesn't mean you don't try any more.  date the heck out of each other.  flirt.  do nice things for each other.   say 'i love you' randomly.  if you feel like giving him a kiss, do it!  i might give him a dirty look when he grabs my butt while i'm cooking dinner, but i secretly love it.  want each other, need each other.

3.  support:  in everything.  even if your scared.  even if you don't 100% agree.  in marriage, in parenting, in life. be enthusiastic, be subtle.  whatever it is, show confidence.  you're partners.  that's what you do.

4. have fun: period.

5.  laugh: period.  i like to say that we laugh with each other a lot.  and this is one of my favorite things about us.

6.  perfection:  he isn't perfect.  but neither am i.  stop trying to make each other perfect.  we have faults.

7.  comparing:  the grass isn't always greener on the other side.  some else's husband or wife might do something better…but it doesn't mean they do everything better.  and just because someone is going through a similar situation, it doesn't mean the outcome will be the same.  

8.  disappointment:  i don't always make mr. m happy.  but he doesn't always make me happy either.  and our expectations are not always fulfilled.  but if we are trying and doing the best we can…that is all we can expect from each other.  be happy with that.

9.  rough roads:  they happen.  and they suck.  but if we hold hands and walk the road together, we'll make it.  and we have.  time and time again.  don't give up.  

10.  acceptance:  like perfection, accept the faults.  they will drive you nuts sometimes, but it is what it is.  some get better with time, some don't.  you married each other for a reason.  

11.  family:  his are not my blood, and mine are not his blood.  but respect that they are blood.  be kind, be polite, be respectful.

12.   lessons:  more lessons will come.  i will learn from some, and some i will have to learn over and over.  and just because we have to learn them does not mean that the marriage is doomed.  communicate, be romantic, have fun, laugh, accept…hold hands.  

i've got him, and he has got me.  and together we have 3 beautiful children that we have to set an example for.  set an example of a good marriage, of what's acceptable and what's not.  

so mr. m?  i've got to say that we are headed in the right direction.  and i love that we continue to grow together.  i love you too much my one and only.

xoxo

may

You're the best.  And don't you forget it.  Or at the very least remind yourself very often. 

If you're trying, you're the best woman (man), wife (husband), mother (father), cook, housekeeper, crafter, sewer, budgeter, giver, runner, business owner, fill in the blank here, that you can possibly be.

And don't short change yourself.  

Now I'm not trying to show off here…and I'm not trying to earn praise.  But I opened a box to a sewing machine that Mr. M bought me 3 years ago.  For 3 years it sat in the corner of a room unopened.  My hubs often commented that he was going to sell it since I wasn't making any use of it.  Sure…I wanted to learn how to sew, but I had never sewn anything in my life and didn't think I could.  Fast forward to the last couple months…

I made a layette from a favorite father's shirt for a newborn babe, and a dolly for that babe and my daughters…and niece…and a friend.  And I love it!  And I am the best at it!  

Sure.  They are not perfect.  And with practice I'll improve.  But they are the best I could do, and I am pretty proud of myself.  

Too often I have heard my dear friends say (when they have received a compliment or given encouragement), oh I'm not that great…

Stop it!  Because you are.

april

I have been thinking about my April post for some time.  And while sitting on my couch, in a rare moment of solitude and peace, scrolling through social media, I came upon this little nugget:

The level of attack you're under tells you two things.  First, it tells you how valuable you are to God in your assignment and second, it tells you the level of blessing that is waiting for you when you get through this attack. - Jentezen Franklin

{thanks for posting this Jen}

While I don't know who Mr. Franklin is, his words resonated with me.  I've been struggling lately. Feeling a little tired, and a lot overwhelmed, and not really understanding why I was feeling how I was feeling.  I had prayed, and gone to church, and felt peace…but the feelings would creep back in - no, wait - the feelings would slam back up on me come Monday.  

So when I read this…literally just moments ago.  It hit me.  It's so simple really.  And I realized it was what I understood to be true all along and that is why I have been plugging away.  My trials have been hard, for me.  I've been under attack.  But the Lord is watching over me, knows I can handle it, and in the end?  Sweet victory.  Blessings that I will appreciate so much more, because I earned them. 

Ok…enough life lessons.  I made this adorable onsie for my lovely friend and her soon to be only girl in a house full of boys.  It's sewn from a mens' tee. I found the tutorial here.  I made her two…this one from a new tee for practice, and the second from her hubbies well loved tee.  How special is that?  

{just a little sneak peek lovely L}

march

march was a busy month…and i did something i never thought i would do.

i sewed, people!  this is a big event.  and this is what i made…my first. time. ever.

and i loved every minute of it…even when i had tension problems.  with the bobbin, not myself. 

and no, i'm not pregnant and expecting a boy.  these were for my sweet friend who is expecting her first…and i'm so excited for her!

i realized something while doing these little projects.  i need this.  i need to create.  to make.  

i created 3 little people {with the help of mr. m}, and they were the best 'things' i could create.  

but i need an outlet.  along with the whining and crying and busying of house duties, i need something to do that is for me…something that makes me feel special in a different way other then being a momma. it's good for the soul, and i highly recommend taking some time out and doing something that makes you feel special.  we take care of everyone else, sometimes you need to take care of yourself.  

and one more thing.

sometimes you need to be just a mom.  create memories with your little 'things'.  because the best feeling in the world is doing something that makes your sweet little boy sigh with contentment and say, 'this was a good day.' my women friends…being a mom is important.  the most important thing you will ever do.  oh there will be mistakes. for. sure.  but it is a divine gift…

february

I went through some stuff in February.  Well, I have been going through some stuff for a couple of months now.  Personal growth.  I know, right?  How could this get any better?!  Well, I'm not as perfect as I thought I was.  And neither is everyone else or life for that matter.  But we have personal standards.  And we hold our bars this high.  The trouble with that?  We get disappointed.  A lot.  Not only with people, but with life.  

I'm a perfectionist…and a visualist.  I see how I want things and when they don't turn out that way, well, I get a little crabby.  My bar wasn't reached, the standard wasn't fulfilled.  So then life becomes this thing of not what I envisioned.  And the thing with that is I'm missing the good.  The wonderful.  The fun.  The love.  I'm dwelling on the negative.  I'm dwelling on the what if's and shoulda coulda's.  

Let it go.

Let it be.

Move on.

So the thing I learned was…I need to change my attitude.  As I've mentioned before.  There will be moments where life sucks a little bit.  And times where it will suck a lot.  But as I've seen in some wonderful people I know, if I will change my attitude, my behavior (cause face it…I was down right mean to my hubs and wee little ones because of my own attitude problem, not theirs), and my actions, well, life could be beautiful.  And only I can create that.  

So choose your beauty.  Choose your happiness.  Choose to smile.  And above all else?  Ask Him for help.  It was the only way I finally got over that hump.  And it will continue to be the only way I will be able to stay over that hump.  

Attitude check indeed.

january 2014

this year is going to be different.  i've resolved to try harder and do more.

and i want to remember this.  the things i accomplish and the things i learn.

this sums it up.  we are awesome!  bad things are going to happen.  life is going to be rough sometimes.

but good things will happen too.  and life will be amazing.

strive to be happy, strive to do good, strive to be you, and in all that striving know that plenty of people think you are awesome and love you.

and above all the Lord loves you…and he is ALWAYS there for you.