february

I went through some stuff in February.  Well, I have been going through some stuff for a couple of months now.  Personal growth.  I know, right?  How could this get any better?!  Well, I'm not as perfect as I thought I was.  And neither is everyone else or life for that matter.  But we have personal standards.  And we hold our bars this high.  The trouble with that?  We get disappointed.  A lot.  Not only with people, but with life.  

I'm a perfectionist…and a visualist.  I see how I want things and when they don't turn out that way, well, I get a little crabby.  My bar wasn't reached, the standard wasn't fulfilled.  So then life becomes this thing of not what I envisioned.  And the thing with that is I'm missing the good.  The wonderful.  The fun.  The love.  I'm dwelling on the negative.  I'm dwelling on the what if's and shoulda coulda's.  

Let it go.

Let it be.

Move on.

So the thing I learned was…I need to change my attitude.  As I've mentioned before.  There will be moments where life sucks a little bit.  And times where it will suck a lot.  But as I've seen in some wonderful people I know, if I will change my attitude, my behavior (cause face it…I was down right mean to my hubs and wee little ones because of my own attitude problem, not theirs), and my actions, well, life could be beautiful.  And only I can create that.  

So choose your beauty.  Choose your happiness.  Choose to smile.  And above all else?  Ask Him for help.  It was the only way I finally got over that hump.  And it will continue to be the only way I will be able to stay over that hump.  

Attitude check indeed.